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Friday, January 1, 2010













ISAAC'S STORY


The last week of September was already off to a great start. Our newest niece, Parker, was born on Monday, Sept. 21st in Rochester, MN. I was scheduled to be in MN on Tuesday so Jennifer flew out to meet me so we could meet up with my brother-in-law, Chris and his wife, Polly and welcome their fifth blessing into the world. We now had a total of eight nieces and five nephews!

As an adoptive couple with no kids on the horizon, we love these brief moments with newborns but it can be pretty emotionally draining. As a husband and wannabe father, holding little Parker was just another confirmation to me that the Lord had intended for us to have a family. We trust God’s plan and yet, the hardest part for us has been waiting. We’ve waited and hoped for years. Every day we grow a little older. Every day I'm one day closer to a time when I won't be able to throw a baseball with my child. Those are the thoughts that frequently came to mind especially with my birthday just a week away. It may sound strange and foreign to some, but if you're a little older and you have desired to have children, you probably have the same thoughts too. I clung to God’s promises for comfort. Sitting there in the hospital room, holding this 7 lb. miracle and looking at my bride with tears in her eyes, made me long for a family that much more. When would we get to bring a little one home? A month? A year? Ever??


We had no idea that our life was about to change drastically before the week was through…

On Wednesday, September 23, 2009 @ 11:23 am.............unbeknownst to Jennifer and me, our six pound, 19 inch little son was born.

Thursday morning started out like any other morning. Coffee, some time reading the bible, a walk through our garden. On this morning we had decided we'd pick our last zucchini of the year for our upcoming harvest party which was Saturday afternoon. Jennifer went to work and I had the next few days off so I headed out to the garage to put away some tools from my most recent vehicle overhaul. At 12:30 pm I got a phone call from Jennifer that is still to this day, a fuzzy blur.

"Honey, are you ready to be a father?" she asked.

"What?".

"Are you ready to be a FATHER?" ..........."Geoff, are you there?" (I couldn’t hold back the tears… and neither could she).

Jennifer had received a call from our social worker who explained the situation. We were to decide whether we wanted to meet the baby boy born just 24 hours ago… the baby boy who could be God’s answer to years of prayer.


One minute, I'm trying to figure out why there are so many leftover bolts from my last truck repair. The next minute, I'm trying to comprehend the fact that I could be a father. It was a very surreal moment to say the least.


We cried, talked and prayed. We knew we HAD to meet this little guy as soon as possible. He was all alone in the hospital only 50 minutes away. Soon, Jennifer was flying home from work and we were headed to the hospital to meet this baby boy.

The trip to the hospital was a flurry of discussion, calls to the social worker (who informed the hospital that we were coming), prayer and tears. We arrived. Breathe. It was awkward walking into the prenatal unit. I can't really describe what I felt… I think I was pretty unsure about myself in a “father” role. This is the stuff guys have 9 months to mentally prepare for, I had about 90 minutes.


After checking in with the nurses, we were ushered into the baby containment area where this little fellow was temporarily staying. I can still remember turning the corner and seeing his tiny figure wrapped up in a blanket. He had this ittybitty blue cap on and was sound asleep, perfectly wrapped burrito-style. He was all alone. It was so exciting to meet this little guy, but in the same moment, it was heartbreaking to think that he was alone. I believe it was at this time I mentally became a father. This baby boy needed a mom and dad… from this moment on, he wouldn't be alone.


We laughed. Could this be happening? Jennifer scooped him up into her arms and held him close. Our hearts melted, he's so cute. It was unbelievable. We laughed and cried and took turns holding him and feeding him and changing him. We couldn’t take our eyes off of him. Time stood still… it was awesome. We were beside ourselves with emotion.



So what now? Can we bring him home? Can we call our parents and tell them we have a son!? Well, not exactly. Ohio law mandates that a child spend at least 72 hours in the hospital before adoption placement. This also allows the birth mother time to make her final decision. For us, this meant that Jennifer and I still had to wait 48 hours before we would know whether or not this little guy, whom we already loved, would be our son.


Fortunately for us, the nursing staff at the hospital were amazing. It made the wait so much easier. We had been hanging out with Isaac for hours in the “holding area” when a nurse came in and offered us a full room to ourselves! We were blown away. It was so nice to get out of the "fishbowl" and just relax as a family in a room to ourselves.


"Chilling in our new room"


"So have you decided on a name for this little guy?" the nurse asked as she walked into our room.

We had no idea. We had wrestled with a few names in the past but never agreed on one. Like everything else, we figured we would have a little more time to come up with the name of our child! At that point, we still didn’t know what we would name him…

Heather, one of Jennifer's friends who is in the process of adopting a second child with her husband, has been a great encouragement in the process. When things would get hard and Jennifer would get discouraged, she would remind her that we were “waiting for Isaac, not Ishmael”. The story of Isaac in the bible fascinated us. We often felt like Abraham and Sarah, childless and aging. Most of our siblings and friends now had families and many of them were much younger than us. God promised Abraham and Sarah a son. Ishmael was born when Abraham and Sarah went outside of the will of God and tried to make things happen in their own power instead of trusting God and waiting for His perfect timing. God did come through on his promise and Isaac was born but it was in God’s time.

We didn’t want our desire for children to cloud our greater desire to follow God’s will and to wait on his perfect timing. We were willing to wait for Isaac no matter how long it took.

In July, we were “matched” with a birth mother who was pregnant with a baby girl. In August, she chose to parent. Fortunately for us, she made the decision before the baby was born but even so, it was a tough time for us. We were encouraged by remembering that we were “waiting for Isaac”. God used that difficult time to remind us that He had a plan, that His timing is perfect and that we should keep our hearts open and ready. When we received that call on September 24th, we were in many ways, emotionally ready. Whatever happened we knew we could trust God… we were waiting for Isaac.

So now, we were struck with the fact that we were holding a baby BOY… could this be our Isaac? We had never considered “Isaac” as a name but thought it’d be a good idea to look up its meaning. Isaac means "to laugh". It was perfect. He may not have been laughing too much those first few days but we sure were.

ISAAC BARCLAY BERGES

"So.....Barclay, like the dog on Sesame Street?" Yes. Like the dog on Sesame Street. But we didn't name him after the mutt. My middle name is Barclay, which is also my mother's maiden name. My Grandpa and Grandma Barclay raised three girls – no son to carry on the name. So my mom gave me the honor. Now Isaac carries on the Barclay name. It will survive for at least another generation!

We spent Friday tag teaming so Isaac would always have one of us caring for him. Friday night we both stayed and continued to learn the ropes of caring for a newborn. The staff treated us like his parents and answered all of our questions. We recognize what a huge blessing this was.

But… nothing was official. No paperwork had been signed. We still didn’t know if we’d be taking this little guy home.

Saturday came in a hurry, this was the day that we would find out if Isaac was to be our son. The 72 hour mark was 11:23 am. We had been notified by our social worker that the birth mother would be returning to the hospital to see the baby and make her final decision. We were informed that we had to say goodbye to him and be out of the hospital by 9:30am. If the birth mother would choose to parent, we would never see Isaac again. She had not signed any kind of official document so it was completely possible that she would come back into the hospital that morning and walk out with Isaac, which is, of course, her right. We have heard numerous situations where the birth mother chose to parent at the last minute. It’s not uncommon. Our social worker said she’d call us when the decision was made. At that time, we’d either return to the hospital to get our son or go home.

So how do you say goodbye to a child you now love as your son? We had no idea. I know this, I hadn't cried like that since "Old Yeller". We knew God had great plans for this little guy, but were we going to be a part of those plans? What do you pray for? A life with his birth mother or a life with us? We felt for his birth mother… how hard this must be for her…

We’re thankful we serve a God whose plans are perfect. They may not be always what we expect, but we can rest in the security that they are indeed perfect. So we knew that whether or not we took Isaac home later that day, that God would be there for us either to help us grieve or help us raise a son. So that’s what we prayed for, God's will.

We kissed and hugged Isaac and tearfully said “goodbye”. Hand in hand, we left the hospital.

"Saying Goodbye to Isaac"


So where to now? Well, Jennifer needed a wi-fi connection and I was starving, so we headed to Panera to get the best of both worlds. For 2 1/2 hours (which seemed like an eternity!), Jennifer finished up some last minute details from work while I attempted to unsuccessfully choke down a plain bagel. We prayed for God’s will. Our tears had given way to a nervousness. I tried to read my bible to find comfort and wisdom but I couldn’t read – it was a blur. Concentration was impossible and comprehension had walked out the front door with my hunger. We prayed for the birth mom and Isaac. I looked like a zombie just staring at the good book and constantly checking our cell phones for calls from the social worker. We prayed for God’s will. We were fidgety and nervous. We had the car seat all set… would we need it? Would we bring home a baby today or not? Would we ever see this little guy that we loved so much again?

And then, at 12:05 pm, Jennifer's phone vibrated, our eyes locked…she had a text message from the social worker........



"Text from social worker (Jennifer's response in green)"


We were parents!!! In a matter of seconds, we had gone from lifeless zombies to happy, crying freaks. I would pay a lot of money to know what was going through the heads of those people at Panera. It must have have been a sight to see. We jumped, hugged, cried some more… and we prayed… thanked God for the miracle unfolding and for the birth mother to feel His comfort and peace. We knew that as we rejoiced, she grieved.

The joy we felt was indescribable. This was unreal.


Time to race back to the hospital.... we filled out the stacks of paperwork and then rushed to see our little son...


Our social worker handing us our SON!




First family photo....


Time to take Isaac home....



We had yet to tell anyone because we weren't sure if everything was going to go through. Why put everyone through the stress that we were going through? We figured it was best to wait until we brought him home. Now that we were home, it was time to tell the family. New Grandparents first of course then our siblings. We emailed them a photo of Isaac and then immediately called them and asked them to check their email. Hearing their responses over the phone was priceless. They had no idea. It was quite a surprise! Jennifer posted it on facebook while she was feeding Isaac in the middle of the night and soon tons of family and friends were celebrating this miracle with us.



In the coming days – we were blessed with a huge outpouring of love and meals and gifts and a baby shower from friends and family. THANK YOU! We are still in awe at the many ways we were and continue to be blessed. We can never adequately thank you all for the prayers and encouragement before Isaac’s arrival and all you’ve done now that he’s here.


Our life has changed forever. 2009 brought the BEST gift. We are enjoying every minute with little I-Bar. We love watching him grow and being his dad and mom. He makes our life so much richer and more fun. We’re grateful to the true author of Isaac’s story… our Lord, that He would give us the great honor of raising this little guy... our son... Isaac Barclay Berges. :)

"Isaac and the Zucchini”